46 weeks 1 day old - Child of God

Last night I had a REALLY rough night. I almost had my first breakdown EVER! I was getting so frustrated because it took Delaney over 1.5 hours to go to sleep! I had a long day, I was super tired of not having any help from Neil, I had a ton of stuff I wanted to get done before I went to bed, etc. Instead, I was just laying there with a Delaney bug crawling all over me and not going to sleep! Finally when I would get her to lay still for more than 30 seconds, she would start pinching my arm. Not little pinches either! It was really hurting me, so I would have to grab her hand, which would make her sit up and so it went on and on and on. To top it off, it was hotter than a mo-fo in the room. I was uncomfortable (I HATE the futon, it's not comfy), tired (I HATE the guest bed. Can't sleep good in it), hot (It's 117 degrees and humid!), UGH! I just laid there waiting and waiting for Neil to come and save me. We have a deal, that after 1 hour, he is to take over. However, last night he "forgot". So, needless to say, when I finally came out of the room at 9pm to have my dinner, I was a little more than frustrated!

It's funny how quick the frustration goes away. Five minutes after I had been downstairs and sat down to relax, I started missing the little booger!

Tonight was an entire different night when I put Delaney down. She was the same, but I was different. While I'm laying there with Delaney, I use it as my quiet time and spend almost the entire time talking to God. I really enjoy this quiet time. The lights are off, not a lot of sound (except when Tooter Bug starts chatting!). It is just a nice relaxing time for me. Plus, who could as for more than to spend this time with the baby I love more than anything else in the world in my arms??? All of this came to me, as I was praying and thanking God for Delaney. (I must thank him for her 20 times a day! I know he sees and knows all, but I still talk to him about her!) As always, God answers my prayers at the "right" time!

It was during my prayers tonight, that I was telling Him how much I love being a mom and how thankful I am for all the blessings I've received. I have a GREAT life and could never ask for more! When I was telling God about how much I love Delaney and how amazing it is to watch her grow and be here to help guide her, I was thinking that He already knows about that! Then I talked to Him about how thankful I was that HE sent his son to die for us. I couldn't do that. I could not let Delaney give her life for others! Especially, since there are so many bad people! Heck, I think I am a pretty "good" person and I don't even come close to deserving someone to give up their life for me! It just goes to show what an AMAZING God he is!!!!!

Into my prayer time, I really feel like God was talking to me. He got his point across too: He didn't just have one Son, we are all his children! The way I feel about Delaney and love just watching her, He does that for me! How awesome is that? It is funny because at church a few weeks ago, the sermon talked about this, but it didn't really hit home until tonight with me. I think it is the neatest thing, that no matter what I do or don't do, God is going to love me the same. Just like I could never love Delaney more or less! I know I have my moments when I really make God proud and he smiles, but I also have my times when I'm sure he wants to kick me and say "get back on track!". A parent is a parent and your children are always your children. I guess I just didn't realize exactly what it meant to be a child of God. I wish I would have realized this sooner. It's FABULOUS!
So, needless to say, Delaney can take as long as she wants to fall asleep. I am going to use this time to connect with my Heavenly Father and enjoy the time while I have it. Life is too short, and Delaney is already growing up too fast. I know it won't be long, before she won't want me anywhere near her! So, I am going to take advantage of the cuddles now!